Another step made and all I could think about was this eerie feeling that something awful strange was about to happen to me. I decided I should attempt to go back before anything bad could happen but I was shoved forward with every step made. The only way I could go was onward. . .
“Is this all I can do now? Go forward with this strange notion? I changed my mind to not chase after this woman. . .”
Since the only thing I could do was to move closer towards this suddenly strange woman, I kept going. I had this sudden desire to know why I had to continue on in this way. It wasn’t like I couldn’t just go after another woman so that I would not have to hurt her.
“I feel so alone all of a sudden. . . I see her walking about there, still not noticing me. What makes her so special?”
The memories started to flow through my mind again, so much so that I could not see what was infront of me any more. One that caught me in particular had me at a play ground where I was the only one there. Two girls had walked up and introduced themselves to me because I was looking so lonely. I started crying infont of them because I had missed my friends. . .
“Why should I remember this over all of the other wonderful memories of mine? Wasn’t my life worth something more then a moment of loneliness?”
A voice started to echo from behind, “You have much to learn in this strange place. Don’t let it pass by you with out seeing the lesson before hand. . . We all have things to learn from our past. . .”
As I turned to look behind me, the voice faded out and I could see nothing there. . .
*~* A lost touch *~*
When I turned back to continue my short journey across what should have been a street, I noticed that the woman had disappeared and I had reached the other side. Everything was suddenly back to normal. For a mere instance, I thought I had just lived one of those strange moments where life just seemed to be odd and was about to change but I shrugged it off and went about my day. My afternoon was taken up by a date I was supposed to be having with this girl I knew. She enjoyed spending time with me but I hated it dearly. She was falling in love with me and I couldn’t stand it. I was not meant to have a lover. Perhaps the moment I just had was a sign.
“I really am getting too old for this crap. All of these women I see day in and day out. I don’t see why I don’t pick one and settle down.” I mumbled to myself as I bowed my head towards the ground and started to shuffle my way down the sidewalk. “This girl loves me and I have yet to figure out why. Maybe she can tell me why so many girls like me all of a sudden. I really wasn’t anything special before so how can I be now?”
“Because you care about them. . .” echoed a voice from no where.
“There it is again. Where does that voice keep coming from I wonder. I think that I’m going to need an aspirin and to keep this to myself. The doc’s might think I’ve done gone psycho on them.” I kept talking to myself as I walked down to pick this girl up. Sure it was strange to leave my car at home but she didn’t live that far away. I could just walk down the street with her and enjoy a nice night at Dan-o’s place. His chef’s make a good pasta. I hear she enjoys Angel hair style pasta, maybe we’ll have that for dinner tonight.
As I reached her house, I could see what seemed like a dimmed out bulb on her porch. It was now about six in the evening and the sun had already gone down. Strange that her light would only be dimmed. I raised my hand to knock on her door but was a little late. She opened up the door to kiss me and hug me.
“Why do you love me?”
“Because you are you. Why do you ask such a silly question, Crel?”
“I don’t know. I just sometimes wonder what makes me so special, you know? It’s not like I deserve this attention all of the time. Maybe I’m falling for you?”
“Don’t be silly. You deserve all of the attention I can give you. I only wish that I had more of it to give you. Is that it? Are you feeling a little left out with me having a day job that you want me to spend it all with you now?”
“Hey now, you need that cash too. Besides, I can take a few hours out of the day to not spend with you. Should try it sometime. Your headaches might actually go away. I’m just a stressor for you. I know I am.”
“What’s wrong with you Crel? Have you lost your confidence in our relationship or something?”
“No, I’ve just had a strange day. . . Come on let’s get going. I hear Dan-O’s makes some good Angel Hair pasta and I’ve been waiting all day to try.” I put out my arm for her to grab hold of so I could escort her down to Dan-O’s place. “So how has your day been?”
“It went quite well. The boss said I’m getting a pay raise next paycheck. I might even have a chance to get some Christmas vacation this year. She said she would think about letting me have it since I didn’t get it last year. Should of seen it today though. Todd was being a jerk to some of the other ladies. I think he didn’t get laid last night. He gets that way when his wife doesn’t give in at night.”
“Your boss really should fire him. He shouldn’t be treating people so poorly.”
“She would but she’s his wife. She says he’s been cheating on her but I don’t know. I think he just misses her sometimes. She does spend long hours at the office. She rarely gets to see him even when he does work. It’s like work has got the better of her life these days with it being the holiday and all.”
“I see. . .”
“My family is going out of town this week. You want to come over? I might … fix you dinner.”
“Wow, is that your way of asking me to stay the night? I can’t, I have to work in the morning.”
“So come over anyway. I’ll wake you up and make it worth your time.”
“Here we are, we’re at Dan-O’s.”
One of the waitors escorted us to a table and served us our meal. Things are pretty fairly priced here. I mean I would have paid a fortune going else where but wow. This was a good deal, only for the both of us. We walked out to the park where we could see the stars and talk a little longer. I really couldn’t understand why she loved me so much. . .
“See for yourself. . . It really isn’t that hard to understand. . .” echoed the voice again. Just then I could feel the wind stop whisping past me. I turned my head to glance at Rose. She was as stiff as a board. I looked her over and wondered if she had been infected with some sort of disease or if I had just been sleeping. I had to be dreaming. There was no other explanation for why time froze in the middle of the day, twice now.
Another memory flashed on by. . .
“Crel, how come you are all the way over there? Come over here and play on the computer with me. I wouldn’t worry about those other guys. They are just jealous of how smart you are. What’s a matter Crel? Why do you look so sad? Oh. . . I’m sorry. I… don’t know what to say. . . He must have meant alot to you. . .”
Moments in moments lived all over again. I don’t see the point of living them again if they’re part of our past. They’re there for a reason but I had to listen to that strange voice. It some how made an odd sort of sense. . .
“Yeah, these new fiber optic lines they’re going to be using for the Internet are great. They have this amazing transfer rate. I can’t wait until we can use them at our homes. Imagine everyone transfering at this speed or faster. They use little signals of light being darted through small strandes of a fibery glass. Can you believe it? I wouldn’t have to lose contact with you ever if we could each have one of these things at home. Wonder why this school gets to be so lucky to be the first one to test it in this area. . . You know, it will be years before we can even think about getting them at home. . *sigh*”
“… How do you know so much about these things? Does your dad work for an Internet company or something? I wish I had a computer like you. It would be cool…”
My memory flashed away just like that and I was right back where I was before it started.
“Crel… Crel.. Are you listening to me Crel?!”
“Sorry Rose.. I just kind of had a flashback. It was strange, I was remembering a moment from my childhood. I was at this little summer school program where I was hanging out with this girl and talking about computers. I was telling her about Cable Modems almost a decade before they came out for us to use.”
“That’s odd. . . Why would you remember something like that and how did you know we would have them anyway?”
“I… I don’t know.. Let’s get going. I don’t feel so well.”
I walked Rose back to her house and started back on my way home even though I didn’t think I would reach my house that night.
*~* To be Continued *~*